11 months ago...

Last night we had a Jr League meeting at Abilene Regional and the new Neonatologist was our guest speaker and hearing him talk about babies being premature and having to stay in the NICU for weeks and months reminded me of where we were 11 months ago.

Alexander was not by any means premature- he was 8 pounds and 21 inches- but the labor went too fast and apparently he was in shock when he was born. I got to hold him for a few seconds before they took him away from me. He was born at 11:36am and I knew they had to give him a bath and check him out but I had no idea what we were in for. A few hours after labor they moved me to my regular hospital room and I kept asking the nurses when I could see my baby and no one would tell me anything. I found out later that my parents had talked to one of the labor and delivery nurses because they could tell that something was wrong and they asked the nurse if he was going to be ok and she could not give them an answer.

It is hard to get any information at a hospital and 4 hours had gone by and no one would tell me anything. My parents, my brother and Bryan's parents were waiting to meet baby Alex. People had come and gone, bringing gifts and their congratulations and what I thought would be one of the happiest days of my life was turning into one of the scariest.

Finally someone told me that he was in the NICU, he had some fluid in his lungs and the Dr was doing his rounds and we could go see him at 5:30. We had been waiting 6 hours and so Bryan and I were there at exactly 5:30- we had be buzed into the NICU, sterilize our hands and put on these yellow plastic robes. Then they led us to our son- he was hooked up to lots of machines, had an iv in his little hand, and a tube in his nose and down his throat and patches on his chest to measure his temp and heartbeats and he was under warming lights. He was asleep with all the machines beeping and babies crying and nurses doing all their routine stuff he was asleep. I was scared to touch him. I felt guilty like this was my fault somehow, that I could have done something to prevent this.

Makenzie got to meet her brother around 10 that evening- I was scared she would not understand what was going on but she did really great and washed her hands and put on the huge plastic robe and we taped a picture she had made for him in her Big Sister class on his bed. She asked what all the machines and tubes were for and we tried to answer her honestly. I was glad she didn't know how frightening this all was- she just thought that all big brothers and sisters go see their baby wearing plastic robes so the babies don't get any germs.
Our First Family Picture- can you tell I had been crying alot? My eyes were swollen shut practically. I stayed in the hospital 3 nights. They never rolled Alex into my room in that little baby bed. I was told when I could and could not see my baby. It was terrible. Then I went home. Without my baby. He had been with me for 9 months and now he wasn't with me. I went to the grocery store- I wasn't pregnant- but I didn't have my baby- it was so strange. I didn't know what to do with myself. I pumped alot of milk- that was all I could do to help him.

We started making some progress, they took him off his oxygen, took his feeding tube out, we got to give him a bottle, turned off the heating lights- then he started getting jaundice so they put him under some tanning lights. We just needed to get off of IV fluids and make sure he can maintain a constant temperature and oxygen level in his blood.


I had to take a baby CPR class before they would let me take Alex home, but on November 20th at 9pm we brought our baby boy home for the first time. I was so happy to be able to hold my baby without all the cords that attached him to machines and I could hold him whenever I wanted to and people could finally meet him and they could hold him! All these things I took for granted when I had Makenzie. But you really can not understand what a blessing a healthy child is until you experience the other side of it. I thought everything was going to be as smooth and easy as it was with Makenzie, but it wasn't, it was very different. It was a terribly hard experience but I am so thankful to the NICU nurses and doctor for taking such good care of my baby. And although I did not appreciate the restrictions and rules and the bill that came with the NICU- I would give anything for my happy healthy little boy. I thank God for giving him to me! He is so sweet and loves to talk in baby jibber jabber and he has a little temper when he doesn't get his way. He is our big strong healthy boy and I have LOVED these past 11 months with him!

One Month Old
Two Months Old
Three Months
Four Months
Five Months
Six Months
Seven Months
Eight Months
Nine Months
Ten Months
Eleven Months

I can't believe you are almost 1 my baby! This year has flown by! Mommy loves you Alexander Ray! I am so excited to celebrate your 1st birthday with you! I thank God for you my son!